In an instant—everything changed.
It was at the coffee shop around the corner, talking to my mentor, and crying (a lot). I was tired - and maybe it was from MMA training, the three speaking events in the past week, my lack of sleep, or too many waitressed shifts. I felt this insatiable need to overwork. Then my mentor said the words that changed my life
“Riley, even if you never did anything good again, God would still love you”.
She waited as the truth of her words sunk into my heart.
“Your value is not based on what you do, produce, achieve, or hustle. Your value is based on being a beloved child of God. And even if you lay on the couch for the next three months, God would still look at you tenderly and declare his love for you”.
“Even if I lay on the couch…”, my mind replayed her word. Wasn’t God’s love like humans? The more we give, the more we receive, right? How could it be that God would love me when I did nothing? I struggled to accept her words as truth.
So to the fellow givers and servers reading this, know this: your value is not based on how much you can love, it's based on how much you ARE loved (read that again!).
While you want “do” for God, He wants to “be” with you. He does not want your performance, He just wants your presence. Unlike the world, He doesn't need you to be a “good friend”, “perfect daughter”, “disciplined student”, or “hard-working employee”. He only wants YOU, as you are. The One who knows you best is the One who loves you most!
When was the last time you turned off your phone and hung out with Jesus? No agenda. Just quality time with your loving heavenly Father.
I saw my friend’s baby the other day and was obsessed. All he does is cry, sleep, poop, pee, and drink milk - yet I looked at him and thought “you are the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen”. God feels the same way about you! When you are drooling and snoring in your sleep, Jesus is enamored by you. When you clean dishes and stare off into the distance, Jesus is like “wow that’s my precious child whom I wildly love”. If only you knew how much you are loved!
Also - I give you permission to rest. Rest is good for you, my dear friend. In fact, it is a necessity for a sustainable, happy life.
Here are a few reasons why your rest is important:
Rest is productive. You are allowed to order your favorite burger, lay on the couch, and watch Netflix. Even God rests- think about that! In Genesis 2:2 we read, “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.” The God of the universe with infinite power chose to rest. My favorite form of resting is the sabbath which is a twenty-four-hour block of time in which we stop work, enjoy rest, practice delight, and contemplate God. Sabbath is not simply the pause that refreshes, but the pause that transforms.
Rest is resistance. Rest says no to capitalism that creates a world where you work yourself into the ground. As Walter Brueggemann “in our own contemporary context of the rat race of anxiety, the celebration of Sabbath is an act of both resistance and alternative. It is resistance because it is a visible insistence that our lives are not defined by the production and consumption of commodity goods.” When we rest, we choose to no longer strive and produce, knowing that our identity is so much larger than our job.
Rest is a display of trust. On Sundays, I turn off my phone for the day, sleep in, watch movies, eat ice cream, and spend a long time with Jesus. My sabbath is an act of trust that God’s got it and I don’t need to worry. It reminds me of the song I would sing in kid’s church “He's got the whole world in his hands”.
If you don’t know how to rest or need some ideas, here are 5 ways you can rest!
Disconnecting from social media- The average American spends at least 5 hours on their phone and most report a feeling of anxiousness during or after phone activity. Replacing screen time with another activity such as a walk outside or reading a book is great for recharging our mental batteries. As I mentioned, on Sundays, I turn off my phone and I swear by this!
Engage in a leisure activity- A spa day, hiking, shopping, a long bath or shower, and brunch are some great ways to take a break and give ourselves so extra love and attention.
Change your sleep routine- Having an ineffective sleeping routine can really throw things off, but sleep hygiene helps you get a better night’s sleep to more effectively rest each night. Click here to read an article on sleep hygiene.
Mediation and self-reflection- Meditating can work wonders for a tired body and brain. If you think I am talking about some hippy / New Age mediation, I am not. Click here to watch an example of what I mean (FYI: youtube “Christian mediation” to find more). Meanwhile, my favorite form of self-reflection is journalling. If you haven’t already received a PDF of some journal prompts, here you go.
Lowering your workload- This may be the most difficult because we feel like we must do it all but setting boundaries at work decreases the chances of burnout. But what if you said no to something this week so you could clear an evening to do nothing?
My dear one, even if you never did anything good again, God would still love you.
